


Old Feelings

by drama_llama



Category: Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 08:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4953466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drama_llama/pseuds/drama_llama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimitri took Tasha's offer and left Rose broken. A year later they meet again when Christian takes Lissa to visit his aunt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I whipped up when I was bored, hope you enjoy it! :)

As usual, after my shif guarding Lissa, I went home and out on one of _his_ old shirts. It still smelled like him, which was weird considering it had been a year. At the thought of this I winced. A whole year had passed since he left me for Tasha, but it still hurt like the day it happened. I curled up on my couch and cried my eyes out for the three hundred and sixty fifth night in a row. My sobs were cut short by a furious knocking on my door. I sighed, rubbed my eyes and trudged towards the door. I opened it and prepared to tell whoever was there to piss off, but it was Lissa, so I let her in instead.

"What's up Liss? It's midnight and I want to sleep." I said, my voice hoarse from crying. She looked at me sympathetically. 

"Were you crying again?" She asked, but I could tell she already knew the answer. I nodded and out my head in my hands and started crying all over again. She out an arm around my shoulders 

"It just. Fucking. Hurts." I wheezed out between sobs. "Why won't it stop hurting?" Lissa was silent for a minute before she answered. 

"I don't know, Rose. I wish I could make it better..." She murmured soothingly in my ear. It was then I remembered that she'd come for a reason, most likely to tell me something. 

"What'd you come here for Liss?" I asked. 

"Thinking about it now, it's probably not going to be good for you, but I'm going to tell you anyway." She said. "Christian is taking me to Tasha's to tell them about our engagement." She finished quietly. Her and Christian got engaged two days ago, on their year-and-a-half anniversary. They knew that they hadn't been dating for very long, but they also knew that they were deeply in love and that nothing could break them up. I was insanely happy that my best friend was going to marry the love of her life, but I was also jealous, because mine had left me because I couldn't give him the thing he wanted most: children. 

"I have to go with you to Tasha's, don't I?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer 

"Yes, Rose. I'm so sorry. I know you don't want to see D- _him_ again." Lissa attempted to comfort me. I shook my head. 

"It's okay. It was bound to happen one day. You and Christian are getting married, and Tasha is going to be very present in your life because of this. It's nobody's fault that Dimitri and I-" I winced because I I see his name. "We're guardians, Tasha is his charge, and you are mine. We don't have to interact. Don't worry about me, though, I'll be fine...as long as their _children_ don't come near me." I reassured her, but inside I dreaded seeing him, and the children he'd probably had with Tasha. 

"Rose, they don't have children." Lissa whispered. I looked up at her in shock. This didn't make sense to me. 

"What? But he left me for that!" I shouted, mostly to myself. Lissa shrugged. 

"Christian just said that Dimitri told Tasha that they should wait a while." 

"Will Eddie be accompanying Christian?" I asked hopefully. Eddie was Christian's guardian, which was good because it meant we got to spend a lot of time together. 

"Yeah he should be." Lissa replied. She stayed for a while longer, but left because she had to go and tell Eddie about our trip. When she left I curled up into a tight ball and cried myself to sleep on the couch. 

I woke up the next morning at five. I showered, ate and went to the gym to train. It was empty when I got there, but after I'd stretched and run a few laps my mother turned up. We hadn't exactly made up, but we were closer ever since she found me crying my eyes out over Dimitri. Needless to say, if she ever saw him again she was going to kill him.

"Hi, Rose." She smiled at me. I didn't return the smile; I hadn't smiled since he left.

"Hi mom." I replied. "How are you?" I asked as I made my way over to the punchbags.

"I'm good, you? You look sadder than usual." She asked, concern evident in her voice. I started hitting the punchbag with all of my strength. After a minute I stopped and burst into tears. She was immediately by my side and pulling me into a hug. She rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"Ssh, Rose, it's okay, just tell me what's wrong." She murmured into my ear. I clung onto my ear. I clung onto her for dear life. I took a deep breath before I told her.

"Lissa and Christian are going to visit Tasha, so I have to go, but _he_ will be there. I can't see him yet, mom. It still hurts too much..." I told her because I couldn't tell Lissa. She'd end up feeling so guilty that she would tell Christian to go on his own. We stayed like that, just hugging, for a little while longer. She told me that it would be okay one day, I just had to be patient and pull through the pain.

After I trained, it was seven in the morning. I went back to my room and packed everything I'd need because we were leaving for Tasha's at ten. Lissa said to pack clothes to go to a club in, because a new one had opened in the town Tasha was staying in and she wanted to see if it was any good. I picked a tight black one that had no straps, a sweetheart neckline, came halfway down my thighs and hugged my curves like a dream. Every male at the club, with the exception of Christian and Eddie, would be drooling after me.

At ten I met Lissa, Christian and Eddie at the court's private airstrip. We boarded a private jet and set off. Lissa and Christian went to the bedroom at the back to rest, but Eddie and I sat in front of one of the TVs onboard and watched out favourite movie: Taken. We arrived just as the movie ended.

Tasha and _him_ were waiting to pick us up. I took a deep breath and kept my face void of emotion. Lissa and Christian beamed when they saw Tasha. They ran over to hug her as Eddie and I carried all the bags off the plane.

Tasha came over to me when I'd put both mine and Lissa's bags in the trunk of the car. She grinned at me, which I didn't return.

"Hello, Tasha." I said politely. On the inside I just wanted to die. She pulled me into a tight hug, which I reciprocated nervously.

"It's good to see you again, Rose." She said happily. I nodded, but all I could think was: _it's not good to see you_. I walked over to Lissa. _He_ was there, talking to her, Christian and Eddie, but I didn't look at him.

"Roza." I heard him mutter. I looked at him then, keeping my face free of any emotions. He was looking at me sadly, as if he was trying to apologise.

"Guardian Belikov, I see you're doing well." I replied icily. Hurt flashed across his face, as did guilt and regret, before he schooled his features back into his guardian mask. Before he had a chance to reply, Tasha came back over and announced that we were leaving.

On the drive back to Tasha's, Christian sat in the front with her, so I ended up in the back, right next to _him_. I sighed and put my earphones in but didn't put on music. I just didn't feel like talking to him.

"Rose." He said, but I pretended not to hear him.

"Roza, I know you can hear me." He tried again, but I ignored him. He sighed and pulled my earphones out of my ears. I turned and scowled at him.

"What do you want, Belikov?" I snapped. He looked down at his knees, trying to hide the fact that my cold attitude hurt him. I _wanted_ him to feel how I felt every time I heard his name.

"Roza, I know I hurt you badly. I know that you don't want to talk, so please just listen. I am so sorry about what I did. It was wrong of me to leave for someone I have no romantic feelings for. I used her, and I hurt you. Now I have hurt her too. I told her I cannot have children with her because I am not in love with her." He told me. I folded my arms and scowled further.

"You _do not_ know how much you hurt me, and you _do not_ know what I've been through! I tried to get you to see that we would work because I wanted us to, but you refused to see it! I _couldn't_ give you what you wanted so you left! I wasn't good enough! You left me, and you can't change that. Sorry isn't going to make it better, Belikov." I hissed venomously, then put my earphones in and cranked up my music. I felt the tears I'd been repressing all day build up so I shut my eyes, but not before I saw him wipe away tears of his own.

I must have fallen asleep, because Eddie shook me awake when we got to Tasha's.


End file.
